The waiting
"…you take it on faith, you take it to the heart.
The waiting is the hardest part." - Tom Petty
Oh, the waiting. I know a little something about the waiting. And no, I'm not referring to the bending-over-backwards for customers type of waiting (although I did have a rather uncelebrated and brief career as a bartender and barista in a former life). The honest-to-goodness, nail-biting, knot-in-the-stomach kind of waiting that accompanies an action. Impulsive and impassioned or strategic and serious, it makes no difference. Action warranting reaction.
I find myself shooting off unsolicited, soul-baring emails quite frequently these days. As you can tell, I've always been a stream-of-consciousness type of writer; one requiring a hefty bit of editing in professional situations where my grammar and style guides just can't keep up with the sparks and fragments teeming in my brain. Thoughts spill onto the keyboard like cream through coffee; swirling, mixing and then settling as color shifts from dark to light. Writing has always been a means to an end for me. Sometimes it pays the bills; other times it offers me an emotional outlet. But it always affords me the opportunity to communicate when my mouth can't seem to form the words to speak directly and openly.
When you have the opportunity to speak to someone directly, you can watch their body language, read their facial expressions and receive some sort of instant gratification to whatever you've thrown out there in the universe. Writing, texting, emailing and blogging, however, requires a different attitude. For all I know, my crazy, emotional diatribes have all been sent to a technological wasteland - one press of the delete button and they're gone. So while I'm certainly able to express myself more openly and honestly through the written word, I find myself asking the questions: where do you draw the line between written communication and personal contact? Is taking the time to express your feelings in this way more or less effective than looking someone in the eye and forcing yourself to form the words? Do you really need to feel the gratification of having someone recognize those words with a direct response, or is the simple act of finding any means of expression satisfaction enough?
For me, communicating face-to-face is a work in progress; and something I'm learning to embrace. Scribbling (or, in this case, typing) out words is my vehicle of choice. As another lyric plainly puts it, "I'm writing to reach you." So I continue to send my thoughts and feelings over the network, through the ether and out into the blogosphere...but the waiting, at times, really is the hardest part.
The waiting is the hardest part." - Tom Petty
Oh, the waiting. I know a little something about the waiting. And no, I'm not referring to the bending-over-backwards for customers type of waiting (although I did have a rather uncelebrated and brief career as a bartender and barista in a former life). The honest-to-goodness, nail-biting, knot-in-the-stomach kind of waiting that accompanies an action. Impulsive and impassioned or strategic and serious, it makes no difference. Action warranting reaction.
I find myself shooting off unsolicited, soul-baring emails quite frequently these days. As you can tell, I've always been a stream-of-consciousness type of writer; one requiring a hefty bit of editing in professional situations where my grammar and style guides just can't keep up with the sparks and fragments teeming in my brain. Thoughts spill onto the keyboard like cream through coffee; swirling, mixing and then settling as color shifts from dark to light. Writing has always been a means to an end for me. Sometimes it pays the bills; other times it offers me an emotional outlet. But it always affords me the opportunity to communicate when my mouth can't seem to form the words to speak directly and openly.
When you have the opportunity to speak to someone directly, you can watch their body language, read their facial expressions and receive some sort of instant gratification to whatever you've thrown out there in the universe. Writing, texting, emailing and blogging, however, requires a different attitude. For all I know, my crazy, emotional diatribes have all been sent to a technological wasteland - one press of the delete button and they're gone. So while I'm certainly able to express myself more openly and honestly through the written word, I find myself asking the questions: where do you draw the line between written communication and personal contact? Is taking the time to express your feelings in this way more or less effective than looking someone in the eye and forcing yourself to form the words? Do you really need to feel the gratification of having someone recognize those words with a direct response, or is the simple act of finding any means of expression satisfaction enough?
For me, communicating face-to-face is a work in progress; and something I'm learning to embrace. Scribbling (or, in this case, typing) out words is my vehicle of choice. As another lyric plainly puts it, "I'm writing to reach you." So I continue to send my thoughts and feelings over the network, through the ether and out into the blogosphere...but the waiting, at times, really is the hardest part.
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