the new normal

The new normal. Anyone else sick of that phrase already? The new normal is full of unknowns, evolving at the speed of sound, and causing my emotional range to hit every peak and valley at accelerated velocity. The new normal can suck it.

Yesterday, I filed my very first unemployment claim. I know, I'm a lucky person. I've been at companies where the layoffs were sweeping and swift. And I ended up being the last one standing in my department both times I went through that. Once, as department manager, I was the one that had to inform my co-workers. It was a great lesson in humility and empathy. And it thoroughly sucked (notice a theme?).

I actually applied for unemployment benefits and created my account last week. My employer encouraged it, and they are not to blame for this. I work for a service-based company that produces work for other service-based companies. We have amazing clients in the retail, restaurant, event, hospitality and marketing industries. We also produce work for municipal contracts and construction, but the reality is that we're a small, local business in Seattle that has been in operation for 20+ years and it's inconsistent and weird right now. And my boss is watching his company's profit margin and supply chain go through massive swings. And it (say it with me) really sucks.

My boss has been wonderful, and transparent about what's happening and I'm definitely not complaining about a reduction in hours. The work isn't there. You can't serve the customers when they're trying to save their own businesses. And I'm seeing the struggle. Daily. Hourly. And on the bottom line. And the worst part is watching my co-workers feel anxious, and uncertain about what the future holds. I'm talking about employees who have been working there for a lot of years, and where I've been for the past three years.

But still, I filed my first unemployment claim in my working life. And while I had been a bit tired, and needing some kind of change and motivation to escape the "grind" lately, this isn't what I had in mind. I like feeling useful, and as challenging it can be, I like working with customers and helping them achieve what's in their mind's eye. I like watching a blank slate become a branded space. I like being of assistance to small business owners, in particular, and seeing that moment when their dream becomes real. I like connecting with my clients in a way that's human, and real. I miss it already.

It's also good to remember that I'm not one thing. That I'm not my job. I'm extending my hand for something I've paid and worked and put energy into since I was 15 years old. I have paid into the system for 30 years. And I'm not relying on it either. But a lot of people are. I am fine, I am financially stable. But a lot of folks aren't. I'm currently healthy and able-bodied. But a lot of folks here in this area (and around the country) aren't, and that number is growing quickly.

I haven't been writing. I was waiting for it to spill out of my fingers onto the keyboard and relay to the screen. I don't know how consistent I'll be with this. But for now, this space is resurrected.

I'll write soon about what I'm doing to help keep my mind and body right, and to help stem those moments of anxiety. For now, I'll log off, squeeze my cat, and look forward to the few hours I'll be working tomorrow.