windows are rolled down
“Who do you call to ease your pain
I hope for you to get through this rain…” – Amos Lee
Oh boy. Just when you think it’s going to be another rainy, grey Monday when you just throw some Amos Lee or Dan Auerbach tunes on and drift away to dreamland while consulting a tricky layout project, things take an interesting turn. The feeling of the day is: sentimental. Thankful. One meaningful thought shared with someone else brings a hopeful quality back into the mix.
I blame the Saturday afternoon sun, a well-timed rainy Sunday drive back home and a decidedly relaxed Monday morning for my state of mind today. There were two people on my mind this morning. In the past, I might not have simply told them exactly what I was thinking so candidly out of some self-inflicted feeling of momentary embarrassment. It seems when you address someone else’s vulnerability, you also expose your own. I no longer possess the capacity to censor myself out of embarrassment. I tell people a lot more often that I miss them and love them and I’m thankful they’re in my life.
It’s an ongoing process for me, this whole “sharing” thing. I know that I bring this out in other people. They’ll often divulge things they rarely, if ever, tell others simply because they can. I’m a steel trap. But that steel trap has worked both ways – it doesn’t always allow as much to get out as it does to get in. so, I have to actively unhinge its jaws and allow myself to freely tell others how I’m feeling – about them, about myself, about life. It’s liberating and scary. And not to be confused with not caring what others think – it’s about taking it a little bit deeper down the road and seeing what’s there.
So, yes, the windows are rolled down – along with my defenses.
I hope for you to get through this rain…” – Amos Lee
Oh boy. Just when you think it’s going to be another rainy, grey Monday when you just throw some Amos Lee or Dan Auerbach tunes on and drift away to dreamland while consulting a tricky layout project, things take an interesting turn. The feeling of the day is: sentimental. Thankful. One meaningful thought shared with someone else brings a hopeful quality back into the mix.
I blame the Saturday afternoon sun, a well-timed rainy Sunday drive back home and a decidedly relaxed Monday morning for my state of mind today. There were two people on my mind this morning. In the past, I might not have simply told them exactly what I was thinking so candidly out of some self-inflicted feeling of momentary embarrassment. It seems when you address someone else’s vulnerability, you also expose your own. I no longer possess the capacity to censor myself out of embarrassment. I tell people a lot more often that I miss them and love them and I’m thankful they’re in my life.
It’s an ongoing process for me, this whole “sharing” thing. I know that I bring this out in other people. They’ll often divulge things they rarely, if ever, tell others simply because they can. I’m a steel trap. But that steel trap has worked both ways – it doesn’t always allow as much to get out as it does to get in. so, I have to actively unhinge its jaws and allow myself to freely tell others how I’m feeling – about them, about myself, about life. It’s liberating and scary. And not to be confused with not caring what others think – it’s about taking it a little bit deeper down the road and seeing what’s there.
So, yes, the windows are rolled down – along with my defenses.
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